My Presidential Platform

Opinion Piece by Knuckles The Clown

I’m a Trump guy. Watching all the people I detest losing their minds over him was all the confirmation I needed. While this is a sports page, I like to lay out my base feelings and ideas. I have a philosophy in life- Don’t ruin things for everyone. This applies to everything. If you are going to play pick up basketball, don’t be a jackass. At work, we all have one- the person who makes it suck for everyone else. In most small to medium work places the ratio is just enough to make you hate your job.

I build my platform on this simple core. I fucking hate liberals but they make up a significant portion of the population, they aren’t going anywhere and they have their shitty beliefs we all have to live with just as people have to live with mine. The key is to keep from irritating the other side to the point where everyone is trying to ruin everything for everyone else.

Compromise? Bullshit. Deal making. I’ll deal with your idiotic nonsense to a point as long as you recognize my awesome beliefs in return.

I’ll break it down to the major issues maybe add in a few pet peeves.


Issue: What to do with this mass quantity of illegals who broke the law coming here or over-staying.

Nobody knows the number but it’s huge. I don’t believe in the hiding in the shadows and the “dreamer” bullshit. Everyone who came here illegally knew they committed a felony, probably works some shitty yet tax-free job, got their kids to be citizens, but also enjoy all kinds of free system hand outs, sanctuary and whatever they spawned is a citizen. FAIR enough. I happened  in my own life to be lucky enough to meet an immigrant who actually paid the money, learned the language, and passed the tests to do it the right way. She feels like an idiot when so many politicians are willing to just wave all that for 12-20 million other people.

We take care of our own first. Instead of waving another magic wand of-you are here, throw our hands up! I propose something much better.

Earlier I said coming in here illegally is a felony that is shittily enforced. If we are going to wave that felony for people who aren’t even supposed to be here then people who ARE supposed to be here need to get something.

The Plan:

One month, one database, on-line. Everyone here illegally has a chance to come clean. That closes after one month no exceptions, anybody else who can’t it together and register within a month goes back to being illegal and subject to deportation.

The tax code for these new “citizens” is adjusted 100% to pay for things lacking or in deficit and to provide certain reparations for people of all color. I will go into this in greater detail later.

By forgiving the felony committed by illegals. All current citizens who have committed a non-violent felony or misdemeanor will get ONE removed from their record and restitution of $1000. If we are going to let non citizens commit a major felony and stay our current citizens, held to a much higher standard should receive restitution for one of their fuck ups. Obviously if you killed, raped, stole a ton of shit or ran a crack house, no dice. But the 1,000’s of other dumb shit American’s have broken and already paid for, then can get one back.

We will not be giving full citizenship right away. These new citizens (not people who did it the right way but our amnesty friends) will have a ten-year period without voting rights and government benefits. HOWEVER we will provide a carrot and stick approach to speed this up for new people who can’t wait to vote for a socialist like Bernie Sanders and pay higher taxes like they did back at the awful home country they felt compelled to flee.

Building the wall.

If you are skilled enough and willing to work/learn. Have the future citizens work on building the wall. This way not only will Mexico “build this wall” they will provide the labor. With the amount of Chinese, Central American and where ever else they comes from illegals here, it will be just like those countries chipping in as well instead of us paying for it. We can pay them less than union rate, bu enough to establish themselves, pay taxes and do something worthwhile. In return the granting of voting rights and benefits period will be reduced to 5 years.

Military Service

Joining the Military for a period of at least 4 years will accomplish the same. Full citizenship will be granted after completing this while being paid and receiving normal military benefits.

Staying the hell out of trouble

Passing a 5th grade English exam. If you stay out of trouble for 5 years and pass an English proficiency exam and maintain taxable employment, boom you are golden.

But Knuckles HOW DOES THIS HELP ME!?!?!?!

By creating a special tax code for these new quasi citizens. They will be taxed at the same rate federally and taxed at a 2% rate for each state regardless of residency.

This money will go to specific things ruined by our current government. Re-funding social security, paying down national and state debts and the money will not be allowed to be sniffed by politicians, the IRS, congress or anybody else who has ruined everything economically. An independent fiduciary can be set up to allocate these funds at the correct ratios and LOCK BOXED and kept away from borrowing or giving away to China or the black hole of general funds. Future funding of government-run retirement plans can be added to this.

In summary. Give a temporary citizenship; create rules to get full citizenship- use the tax money to eliminate current deficits and give incentives to do things that will help current legal citizens.

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