Pooping, Peeing and the All-Star game.

Opinion Piece by Knuckles The Clown


I’m a pretty “liberal” guy. By liberal I mean I don’t really give a crap what people do in their spare time and I like the kids and their new music and interracial dating etc. Even the pot smoking doesn’t get a head shake out of me. Everyone has their thing and that’s great.

Like everyone else who is caught up in the ever-shifting social state of this country as they get older, some shit is just weird, but you grow, learn to accept. People can change, minds can change, hearts open up. Such a beautiful thing it’s almost vomit inducing.

Then there is the hold every thing hostage over something crowd. It has been used for good (not sitting in the back of buses to elicit change for African Americans) to bad (trying to get the Super Bowl site changed over MLK day in Arizona, fuck the NFL didn’t even close on MLK day and was wagging their finger at everyone).

However in our new age of everything comes back to sports we’ve reached a new low. In North Carolina for whatever fucking reason they found it necessary to remind people where the fuck to go to the bathroom. Even made a LAW. The only thing dumber than asking people to act like adults when they take a shit at the airport or Denny’s is the fake outrage.. By your normal non cross-dressing and non-tucking their cock inside their legs to Q-Lazarus music friends.

Had a few friends on Facebook I had to immediately delete when they were “ashamed” of their State after passing the stupid bathroom law. People who fled NY and it’s horrific communist rule mixed with anything goes pandering to every freak in a leather shop politics. They decide to make better for themselves moving to a productive state, then do every they can to make it into the shit hole they escaped from. Typical.

So what the fuck does any of this have to do with sports?

Because now (I won’t even dignify the laws name it’s so absurd to get worked up over) cause of the shit like an adult bathroom law…. MOVE ALL-STAR GAME.

It’s a very bizarre equation. Something so minor that affects less than .5 percent of the population IF THAT, that most people if asked (off-camera) would probably admit is a good idea becomes a lightning rod.

Extremely small quasi offended group+ Gripe x  Y= DESTROY ECONOMY OF ENTIRE STATE.

Y= fake outrage, or any other variable that is beyond getting worked up over.

side note: Oh they did this over comparing weeding out illegals to the tired “Papers, please” Nazi-Hitler blah blah move all sports teams out of Arizona a couple years ago as well.

So you have a group of people, LGBT, who feel the T part is being bigoted against beyond reproach. I can’t imagine anyone part of the LGBT who is a fan of NBA basketball unless it had a W in front of it. Even then those games attract as many people as a curling tournament played on the Moon.

But oh MAN do they know who is a pussy about such matters. Step one get the shitty media involved. The media won’t even debate the issue, there is only one side. Next get the media to reflect poorly on everyone doing anything in North Carolina. HEY they are gonna play an All-Star game there! Last step get the absolute pussy commissioner of that league to play PC ruler of the world.

So what we are left with is this. To most people, public shitting and pissing is not a fun thing. It’s a last resort. We’ve managed to make it somewhat tolerable by separating it by sex. I mean if you are a guy, you don’t want to hear a chick rip one off, it just ruins their appeal and the pedestal we put them on. I can only imagine women don’t need men pissing all over the seat and leaving it down OUTSIDE the home. Now you are either sitting on some strangers piss or worse falling in to a public toilet water, cause chicks never look to see if the goddamn seat is down.

As far as the child molester thing I could care less. The thought of having your child molested or kidnapped is like an imaginary badge of honor among parents. Nobody wants your stupid kid, hell you own them and know what a pain in the ass they are. Plus it’s universally accepted (not enjoyed or even liked, but accepted) that an opposite sex parent probably has to help out their 2 year old in the shitter and an opposite sex person may be forced to invade our public shitatoriums.

Which leaves the people who are TRULY getting the “Roots” treatment here. People in all transitions between Man and Woman including the  indecisive, surgical altered, having a random day of opposite sex blues, ready made victim in flux. They’ve been bullied their whole life, confused, living in the closet (perhaps this is where they learned their appreciation for the other sex’s clothes?) and well you aren’t gonna tell these whatever state they are in people where to take a dump goddammit!

Which brings us back to why? How in the fuck does the NBA All-Star game and every business in North Carolina have to immediately close up shop or move its event elsewhere over the place where people take a growler? Every state has stupid laws. Hell , in New York State you can’t be trusted to talk on the phone while driving. I would let a group of LGBT supporters bukkake me in a rest stop bathroom to get that law stricken from the books. In some states mustached men cant kiss women in public. Some states (and this is the most disgusting law in western culture) even practice DAY LIGHT SAVINGS TIME!

Lets pick some real battles here if you want to ruin your favorite NBA star to play in a horrible meaningless exhibition (that would probably put 200 strippers through college based on these guys spending habits) in your state. Start at the bottom. Fight gas taxes, wage equality or once again that motherfucking daylight savings time. Leave the bathroom alone for now, people will figure out where to go and not be shamed.







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