Sports by Michael Sherwin
This isn’t about sports commissioners but I will start there.
I have no love for sports commissioners. I actually don’t mind Roger Goodell, people hating on him for the reasons given are asinine. They get mad at him for handing out suspensions as judge, jury and executioner on game related matters…. But are livid he doesn’t conduct legal and detective work on issues outside the game.
He isn’t the fucking police he is a sports commish. If you want to be mad at him, get mad at him for making teams play in London and Toronto, 8 home games, you don’t need one being an away game, they are too important.
Basketball commissioners are always a joke, as much as Adam Silver is levels beyond David Stern, until every ownership partner of OKC is put in jail he is a loser.
I don’t even know if Hockey still has a commissioner or if the NHL even exists anymore.
Which brings me to baseball.
Heard an interview with new commish Rob Manfred. I don’t recall where as sports talk radio has turned in to whining pussies and the Dan Patrick-Rich Eisen block of the exact same show with imitation interns to boot. But it was good. He actually gave REAL answers, wasn’t mealy-mouthed and presented actual ideas to improve the game. He refrained from commish speak and sounded like everything rotting corpse Bug Selig wasn’t.
Now before I continue on some easy fixes for baseball I’ll explain my relationship with baseball.
I played my baseball in an unfortunate time when high school coaches really thought they were what mattered in wins and losses. They would gladly give up 15 outs to score one run and the sacrifice bunt was something they had control over. The thought of a 17 year old kid hitting a ball 400 feet terrified them as it was something they could never do, hence they got into coaching to make up for their own failed dreams and lack of ability. EVERY baseball coach in the 90’s could sure lay down a sac bunt back in their day though. Golly gee they could move a runner over 90 feet down 10 in the 6th inning.
Now that we’ve moved beyond Neanderthal coaching and understand doing the “little things” doesn’t amount to jack shit, it’s fun to see the game modernized to reflect what actually wins games. Call it moneyball, call it whatever you want. If you are behind by a run you want Chris Davis getting a walk or home run and not Skip Schumaker skip schumakering an out to “increase” the odds of winning by a negative factor.
WITH the improvement of strategy it is time for baseball, the game itself to improve itself with the amount of redundancy, wasted time and shit from the past that is useless now.
I am not a “get off my lawn” type of person I just don’t appreciate unnecessary bullshit.
The other day the dreaded social media collectively lost their minds over the proposal of waving a guy to first base for an intentional walk rather than throwing 4 wide ones. I mean my goodness one of those 4 lobs to the outside could end up in the bleachers and hilarity could ensue!!! OR four wide ones could end up taking 2 to 3 minutes from the amount of dicking around between throwing them.
I LOVE baseball. I will match wits with anyone over strategy, history, trivia. But I can’t watch it anymore. It’s just too fucking long. I also can’t attend a game. Between the $5,000 it takes to get from your house to the park and back and 4 hours long games with 3 minutes of action, I’d rather follow along on the Internet and do other shit. Sorry- me, like many other people, have grown up in an era where a lot of us just don’t have the patience.
With baseball’s no clock rules it just doesn’t fit into today’s society. This is great for your 60 year old fans and 12 year old’s, baseball writers or college students who have all the time in the world to do nothing.
Baseball needs to be sped up and it won’t take ONE thing away from the game. Whenever something is taken away from the game of baseball people bitch like their life savings are being ripped apart from them.
Then the must ludicrous of arguments start sprouting up that don’t have a goddamn thing to do with anything.
Good IDEA: Giving a runner a “walk” instead of throwing 4 wide pitches is a great idea! This needs to happen today!
The argument against not throwing 4 pitches for an intentional walk-
ONE TIME BABE RUTH WAS GETTING INTENTIONALLY WALKED AND HE HIT A HOME RUN CAUSE THEY DIDN’T THROW THE BALL WIDE ENOUGH!!!!
Really, were you fucking there for that? Since 192? or whenever the fuck it happened many advances have been made in intentional walks. Including pitchers throwing 4 balls out side the strike zone for a walk 99.99999999999 percent of the time.
So ask yourself, are the thousands of people hours wasted on watching intentional walks worth the one in a billion shot that ONE might be a little too wide allowing all runners to advance a base? Is that moment so AMAZING to you that your are willing to put up with the bullshit of a pitcher still taking for goddamn ever to throw an intentional ball? Watch an intentional walk. There are still signs, waiting, time outs, and other mind numbingly boring shit that happens on them.
If you have no intention of pitching to the batter. Point to first. Don’t worry if you are still concerned you might miss some “action”, the batter will still take 20 seconds to mosey down to first base and his pants could rip in 30 seconds it takes to strip off his 14 pieces of extra protection equipment.
*quick thought. If people still insist on there being four pitches thrown, allow the batter to at least take off his elbow, ankle, toe cap DURING this pointless exercise and not after ball 4.
So that’s one thing on speeding up the game, I’ll have more in the coming weeks…. but
While I am at it the DH needs to be addressed. It makes it a better game, so bad segue
Great Idea: The DH needs to be in the National League.
Some of the terrible arguments against the DH.
BASEBALL IS A NINE MAN GAME ADDING A DH MAKES IT A 10 MAN GAME!!!
What? Who the fuck cares about that? There are relief pitchers, pinch hitters, gritty veterans with no business still playing on each team. Baseball is a 25 man game! 40 in September.
NL BASEBALL HAS MORE STRATEGY!
Pitchers bunt with a runner on base and less than 2 outs. EVERYTIME. That is not strategy. This is just what is done because they suck at hitting. There is nothing strategic about it at all.
BUT, BUT, THE DECISION TO LEAVE THE PITCHER IN OR PINCH HIT FOR HIM!
Again who gives a shit. Pitchers pitch. They don’t work on hitting, they can’t hit and it’s an embarrassment when they do. So let them pitch and let somebody who actually practices hitting hit.
MADISON BUMGARNER IS A GREAT HITTER!
If he is the awesome-st hitter ever… No worries he can still hit in his spot! There is no rule the pitcher can’t hit. If your manager is dumb enough to let the pitcher bat for himself in lieu of a DH it is still allowed! For some reason though Bumgarner who is the best hitter EVER, a veritable Ty Cobb of the batters box…. still bats 8th or 9th every game though 😦 ?
Pitchers hitting in the All-Star game.
Why the fuck in NL parks do pitchers hit in All-Star games… besides “house rules” It’s the All-Star game. Now you have terrible hitting pitchers hitting against the best pitching pitchers. Meanwhile 30 batters who can hit like men languish on the bench.
World Series flip flopping DH
This is a HUGE disadvantage to American League teams. Their pitchers bat 8 times a year if lucky. It is easier for the NL to play one of their poor fielder/great hitter as DH and plug in a bench bat or better fielder than the AL trotting a high school level hitter.
I MAKE BASEBALL BETTER GET ON BOARD!!!